Guardians of the Galaxy Review

Chris Pratt will never not be adorable. That's probably the best reason Guardians of the Galaxy works so well. And I guarantee someone who sits behind a big mahogany* desk realized that, deciding to cast him in what would become likely the best movie of the summer. Sure the film has a bit of a head start, what with the movies that came out earlier cluttering that part of the brain reserved for long term memories. The only real contender against it would be its bookended Marvel counterpart Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but that came out in April so it doesn't count. Shut up, that's why.

Movie Review: How to Train Your Dragon 2

These aren't the Khaleesi's dragons. They're all cute and family friendly. 

Movie Review: A Million Ways to Die in the West

In the follow up to his directorial debut with Ted, Seth Macfarlane travels westward in order to upend the former Hollywood tradition of glorifying old frontiersmen with decades of films centered around cowboys and gunslingers, sheriffs and bandits. It was once believed there was a nobility to the rugged individualism of Cowboy life; living off the land, working hard, a statement about social and economic hierarchy in the position of labor against their capitalist employers/barons, etc. It was also cheap to make movies out of them. The most notable were the westerns that came out of Italy, so named "Spaghetti Westerns". Hundreds were made in the span of two decades, of which the ones that come out on top were directed by Sergio Leone and starred Clint Eastwood. They generally follow an understood path. A law bringer comes to a lawless territory and cleans up, be the criminals bandits, killers, or Native Americans. Lessons about honor and loyalty are had at the expense of innocents caught in the crossfire.

Movie Review: Maleficent

I don’t think kids are stupid. Nobody really thinks kids are stupid. Nobody, until money is involved, that is. At that point, if you’re wrong you have the potential to lose a lot of it. One could be offended by that thought, but then realize they do the exact same thing for adults as well. Remember when everyone got worried that no one could follow Inception, and it turned out that what they were talking about was a movie where half the characters are there to exposit or be exposited to in order to make sure that the audience understood the situation? Maleficent, for all the goodwill of the cast, crew, and the corporation that created it, doesn’t trust that its audience will be able to follow along with anything but its already simple story. A movie for kids shouldn't be a political thriller, but for one that wants to tell a new side of the story it holds off on saying much that's different. What it does say is in order to rewrite the story from the original (a la Wicked) but doesn't go far enough to actually create a new story, instead meandering in a version of the original with confused circumstances and little in the way of actual characters. There's nothing offered other than a sharp performance by Angelina Jolie in the title role. Very mild spoilers to follow.

Poets of the Fall

I’m wondering out loud whether or not I would want to include music as a continuing vein of discussion on this blog. Potentially, I could be spread too thin by so many subjects. As far as experimental experiments are concerned, this seems promising. The only way to know for sure is by seeing what happens here.

Ever since I started writing on the internet I've been waiting for an excuse to write about these guys because they’re one of my favorite bands and it’s likely you've never heard of them. However, don’t put up the hipster banner just yet because I want you to like them just as much as I do. For the websites I currently write and have written for, it was next to impossible to find a proper context for this band with which I could describe them appropriately. After all, they aren't particularly relevant to HBO. But you know what? I have my own blog now (I’ll stop fawning over this eventually. But it's exciting, y'know?).

Movie Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past

1st Review!

Eh, wasn't too bad.

...

Elaboration is probably required.

It's kind of sloppy, but then, every movie in the series so far has been kind of sloppy. The problem is that the character arc of every plot is shared between one to three characters. Everyone else gets to come along for the ride and occasionally show off their portion of the special effects budget. This leads to important characters being underwritten and unimportant characters being offered more screen time than they deserve. X-Men has always worked better as a television series because it allows the focus to drift between characters and give everyone time to develop and grow and change. A two hour movie doesn't offer that opportunity.

Faux Ironic Meta-Pretentiousness is Still Cool Right?

ki·no

  [kee-noh] 

noun, plural ki·nos.

a motion-picture theater

ca·bal

  [kuh-bal]

noun

1.

a small group of secret plotters, as against a government or person in authority.

2.

the plots and schemes of such a group; intrigue.

3.

a clique, as in artistic, literary, or theatrical circles.

So... this is a thing now. 

A place where I can speak my mind. Where I can consolidate all my thoughts about all the things I care about (at least concerning movies). You hear that echo? That's all the space that's freeing up in my brain. 

This can be a place where I talk about movies and television, give reviews, and generally run my mouth until my voice is hoarse. I can do what I want, when I want to. 

That's neat.  

I was hoping I could call this "Shallow and Pedantic", but everyone loves their second child just as much as the first, right?  Hopefully this works out. 

(Also note, there will be no plotting or scheming against the government here)